Global Warming

Dear Global Warming,

I think you missed Minnesota. We are used to the cold and snow. We go through it every year. It's the main topic of conversation every winter. It's my theory that people in Minnesota bitch about the cold, but we secretly love it. It makes us stronger than the rest of the country. (Suck it Cali, we can survive below zero temperatures!) Give us a temperature of 10 degrees? Psh, that's nothing! But this negative 34 degree crap? (BEFORE the windchill, thankyouverymuch!) I've had enough. It's probably impossible for anyone to even imagine what negative 34 feels like (unless of course, you are crazy-aka stupid- enough to live here!) A human will freeze in 10 minutes. I know it's true. The radio told me so. In any case, I would appreciate if you warmed the hell up now. K, thanks.

***


In case you were wondering, it will never get too cold to snow. WCCO said so.

Finally, a question for the weather man: Is it ever really too cold to snow?

"No," said meteorologist Chris Shaffer, "but that is the common thought. It's not true."

Shaffer said the absolute limit for snow is actually absolute zero, which is about 459 degrees below zero -- more than 400 degrees colder than anything we'll ever experience.

*This is an actual picture of the thermometer at the local news station.*

First Kiss

I'm brand new to the 20SB community. I just wanted to find some cool new blogs to read. But today I came across this.

So here it is, the story about my first kiss. Hold onto your seats!

I was 14 and was dating Ryan. We had 1st period together which happened to be orchestra class. We had a concert coming up, and we were holding class in the auditorium that day to do a practice run-through. While everyone else was getting their instruments ready, he pulled me back stage and said he had to talk to me. My insides were doing flips. He wouldn't break up with me, would he? I was so nervous, I thought I was going to be sick. What did he want to talk about? This can't be good!

Once we got back stage I whispered, "What did you need to talk about?"

He said nothing. He simply cupped my face gently in his hands, and leaned down and gave me the most perfect kiss ever. It was soft and sweet at first, then he added in tongue. And it was perfect! Not slobbery, or messy, or even awkward! I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but it didn't matter because it just worked. It was absolutely amazing. While he was kissing me, it felt like I was watching a cheesy romance movie. Everything happened in slow motion. I will remember that kiss for the rest of my life. The rest of the day I was literally walking on air. I had a huge smile on my face and NOTHING could ruin my good mood.

I was in love. And I just had my first kiss. My first, amazing kiss. And it was gooooood!

And to this day, Ryan was the best damn kisser I've ever had. Ever. I could make out with that boy for HOURS. (And we did, in fact. I remember having chapped lips numerous times even after the obsessive chap stick applications!) Maybe my memories are so good because I really didn't know any different. He was the only person I'd kissed at that point. But it doesn't matter because I wouldn't trade the memory of a perfect first kiss for anything.

Thank you, Ryan. Wherever you are.

Oh, P.S. Ryan has a sister the same age as my little sister. And they are graduating from the same high school this spring. Maybe I will run into him?! Hmmm...

Skinny Bitch

I've always been chubby. Always. Well, last year I decided I was sick of being overweight and I was going to do something about it. No more excuses. I weighed around 181 pounds (probably a little more) and at 5'7" I was uncomfortable in my own body.

It's been a year now, and I'm down 30 pounds. My BMI is "normal" instead of "overweight." I want to lose at least 10 more pounds before summer. This past year has been HARD. I've had to log all my calories, work my ass off in the gym, cry, bleed, cry some more, and exhaust myself physically and emotionally. If you've never been overweight (not the, "I want to lose 5 pounds before bikini season," that doesn't count. I mean honestly overweight. As in your BMI says so.) then you don't understand how hard losing weight is. But whatever, I did it the right way, no diet pills, no "quick fixes", just time and hard work.

I have this friend who is obese. She's tried to lose weight before, but she tried "quick fixes" like only eating salad (didn't last long) or diet pills, or diet shakes. But she never sat down and logged her calories, changed the crap foods she was eating, and exercised. So obviously she never lost weight. But throughout my "journey" if you want to call it that, I've leaned on her for support. Nobody knows about the highs & lows of losing weight better than a fellow fat girl, right?

Except she wasn't very supportive. At all.

When I just needed to vent about a stall in my weight loss, or about being sore, she would lecture me about what I was doing "wrong" and tell me all about the "right" things to do, because she obviously knew it all. I just wanted support. I didn't want to hear all about this new diet you heard of and I should be doing x/y/z instead of what I'm doing now.

And when I did lose weight, and was excited. She didn't really seem to care. I wasn't expecting a party or for her to jump for joy...but a simple "way to go" would have been nice.

So this friend got the Lap Band surgery in December. She still eats crap foods-just less of them. (Does only eating 1/4 of a cheeseburger instead of vegetables really make you healthier?) And doesn't really exercise. And yet, she's lost 25 pounds IN.ONE.MONTH. (and it took me almost a year to lose that much.) And does she remind me of it every single day? Oh yeah. And it's driving me nuts.

Look, I was overweight too. Just because I wasn't as obese as her doesn't mean I didn't work my ass off losing this weight. And no offense, I know she had to go through a surgery and everything, but shouldn't she have at least tried losing weight with counting calories/exercise before she had a surgery? (She didn't) I know for some people this surgery saved their lives, and it really WAS their ONLY option. Not true for her. She's just lazy. I'm glad she's losing weight, but she can't expect me to be supportive when she wasn't there for me.

But I guess I will continue to be there for her because losing is weight is hard work, no matter how you do it. And there are far too many obese people in this country.

Now, go eat your veggies!

Blogworthy?

So today I was hanging out on the treadmill reading my new issue of Glamour (who doesn't love reading about the same "new" sex moves every other month? But hey, at least it's a step-up from Cosmo. Back off.)

Anyway, as I was running along (okay that's a lie, I was fast walking.) I noticed an ad for Oscar Mayer's deli creations flat bread sandwiches. And printed under a giant picture of one of these sandwiches was...

BLOGWORTHY.

What the hell? What is so special about these stupid sandwiches (which you microwave, BTW. Gross.) that they think they are blogworthy? I think this may have been the stupidest ad I've seen in a long time. But Oscar Mayer must employ sneaky bastards because I just blogged about how stupid this ad was and their nasty sandwiches got some promotion.


******
I will leave you with this...

Reading further on in my Glamour, I found a poll of 1,013 men. One question was, "Would you rather be 5'2" tall with a seven inch penis OR 6'2" tall with a three inch penis?"

Guess what the results were?

68% of men picked 5'2" with a seven inch penis.
and
32% of men picked 6'2" with a three inch penis.

Really?!

Future

I was up for a couple hours last night. And since I had nothing better to do (other than eat Twizzlers and milk at 3am, classy) I starting thinking about my future.

And that scared the crap out of me!

You see, I have no freaking clue what to do with my life. For starters, I work at a decent job that pays the bills. However, if I were single, I would be broke-ass poor. The only reason I'm living a middle-class life right now is because of the boyfriend. I need to decide if I am going to go back to school or just find another job (hopefully one I actually like because I will have a mental breakdown if I stay at my current job another few years. I will grow fangs and bite people's head's off. Literally. Don't believe me? You've never been to my job...)

And secondly, is my boyfriend the guy I'm supposed to be with? As in forever? I still don't really know. I do know that love isn't everything. And sometimes I think I am with him because he is a good, stable guy and I think we could have a nice marriage. But sometimes I wonder if I am missing out on a tear-your-clothes-off, IwantyouNOW kind of relationship. Will I regret staying with him when I'm 40 and in a passionless marriage? Will that happen? Where the HELL is a forture teller when you need one! Ugh!

I need to take my life one day at a time. The big picture scares the crap out of me. It's not like I'm getting married tomorrow. (I'm not even engaged!) I guess I have time to decide if this is THE guy for me. But I do need to light a fire under my ass and decide on school.

Which reminds me...what the f*ck would I major in?!? And did I mention I am 23, not 19! I should have this shit figured out by now!

It's times like this when I hate being on a diet because I can't drown my liver in some (tons of) vodka! Alcohol always makes being an adult much easier, or at least, more fun!

But seriously, if someone can just tell me who I am going to marry, and what to do about my career I will pay you. Just not a lot. I'm poor, remember?

Letter to H

Dear H,

I know we've been through a lot together. I met you back when I was 17 and we became instant friends. We spent way too many nights wanding around Walmart at 2am since we were minors and there was nothing better to do. We shared our first bar experience together. (Even though you were only 20 at the time and we had to use some mad ninja skills to sneak you in!) You were there when I met Brian the first time. You were there when I fell in love, and when he crushed my heart. I was there when you lost your V-card. Remember the blizzard? How we got snowed in and needed help from some strange guy to get us out? And when we went on our road trip "to find the moon." And all those days fishing on "our dock."

I could go on and on. But the truth is, things aren't the same anymore. We barely speak. You said you would never change yourself for a guy. You didn't understand how a girl would want to be with a man 24/7. I said it was because you had never been in love.

Well guess what?! You fell in love, and then you changed. You became obsessed with him and being with him. Everything else in your life fell aside. I get it. I've been there. But then on 12/31/07 I met this new guy. You asked my HONEST opinion of him. I wouldn't lie to you. Maybe I should have. I told you that you could do better.

That was the beginning of the end.

You stopped talking to me. You didn't tell me when you got pregnant 2 months later, or when you got engaged one month after that. I found out on Myspace. How pathetic! I will never forgive you for not including me in your life. So what if I didn't like him?! I was you BEST FRIEND and I didn't want to lose you over him! I would have stood by you.

Sure, I've seen you twice in the last year, You were 7 months pregnant. It was weird. Things weren't the same. We both knew that. I drove 3 hours to be at your baby shower and you BARELY spoke to me. That's when I gave up trying. I wish we could fix our friendship. But I think things are too far gone by now. You have a daughter, I've never met her. This isn't how I pictured things. I love you still. You were a good friend to me. But sadly, I think we have both changed too much and all we have is the past.

Goodbye, friend.

Bring in the NEW

Happy 2009!

I figured I needed a new layout for the new year. I hope it worked and looks alright. I'm still new at all this!

New years eve was a disappointment. The bf and I went out to dinner at The Macaroni Grill. It was our first time there and it was yummy! From there, we went to a little bar by our house and it was totally lame. It seemed most people our age went downtown where all the major bars are. We didn't want to deal with that, but I could have used a little more excitement than what we found at this place.
*insert yawn here*
We left at 10:30. Party because the bar was boring, party because the bf was wasted already, and party because he pissed me off because he said I was 24. Um WHAT?! We've been together 2.5 years and you don't know how old I am?! (I'm 23, thankyouverymuch, dumbass!) He didn't think it was a big deal, I did. It still kinda bugs me. Shouldn't my bf know how old I am?! My mom and sister think I am overreacting. I don't know.

Anyway, on New Years Day we headed to my grandma's house for her 70th birthday. That was pretty fun. I heart my grandma. I also got to see my great-grandma who is 93! (almost, in one more month...)

So my new year started off pretty low key. But I have really big plans for 2009. I can feel it--this is going to be a good year. I made two major resolutions this year. One is to lose the rest of this weight (13 pounds) and two is to keep building up my savings/pay off debt. I made the same resolution last year. And I managed to lose 27 pounds and put $200 in my savings (pathetic, I know.) But, at least it's something and I will only build on that this year.

Here's to a great 2009!!