My bf's brother had a baby girl yesterday. The first grandchild of the family. Everyone always thought Tom & I would have the first/only grandkids in his family because his brother's wife always said she didn't want kids. And, oops, here's baby Katie instead! (I don't like the sister-in-law. Nobody does. When bf's brother called and said he had an "announcement", we were guessing he was divorcing her, or she accidentally got pregnant. Which jabs the knife in even further that she has a new little baby and I DON'T.) I've been jealous for awhile now. I want my own little baby. :( My bf's brother lives in Texas, so it's not like we will get to see baby Katie very much. She probably won't even be a baby by the time we meet her! I know bf's mom is really sad about being so far away. She wanted a little girl of her own and got three boys instead! So this granddaughter is really special to her. We got a few pictures of her today and she REALLY looks like daddy. And I spent a long time looking at her little face and wishing I could hold her and spoil her. ( And (secretly) wishing I could have my own little baby, too.)World, meet my pseudo "niece", Katie. 
So, I just got back from the dentist. That was interesting. I waited almost an hour before they could see me. Then the tech needed to take some x-rays, so she put little cardboard things in my mouth and told me to press down. Only the one on the left side was kinda crooked and it was so sharp and digging into my mouth! I told her it hurt and she said, "It's only for 2 seconds!. You're fine." Um, what?! (this was my first visit to this place! I'm not a huge baby, but I'm pretty sure if I tell you it really hurts you should listen to me and try to fix it?? Maybe?) Then the dentist came in and he was there for LITERALLY under a minute. He told me I have 2 cavities and I need to come back next week.Thanks, jackasses! I miss my old dentist from back home. He is AMAZING! I think I will start planning my dentist visits around my trips back home so I know I'm getting someone good instead of these ding bats!So what did I do when I got home? Grabbed a snack. FROSTED animal crackers! IN YOUR FACE, DENTIST! :) He would approve, right?
Last week sucked and it's not looking like it's getting any better...
First, I am broke because my car needed work a couple weeks ago and that was a few hundred...then my cat started throwing up and we had to take him to the vet. The x-ray alone was almost $400!! Then he needed medicine and we need to watch him the next couple days to make sure she can keep food down. There was something on the x-ray thatshowed something stuck in his colon. Hopefully he can pass it on his own. If not, it's a $2,000 price tag for surgery. (which, I don't have!!!) Oh, and he's not even 4 years old. It's not like he's 18 and it's just his time to go. He's still young!
Then at work we found out that we are not getting any raises this year. AWESOME. And they might need to "adjust" our benefits. Um, ok? You won't give us our raises and are more than likely going to INCREASE our cost for insurance? Great. And I work for a freaking hospital!
So since I hate my job, and have been wanting to go back to school for a loooooong time, I decided to take the plunge and get the ball rolling by filling out my FAFSA. Bad idea. It told me I am NOT able to get federal grants. Because my income is "too high." WHAT?! My net income in 2008 was 23k! And you're telling me that's too much?! Not to mention I would make even less if I were to go back to school because I couldn't keep working full time! And I barely have any credit history so I can't qualify for loans without a co-signer. Um, and did I mention I've never met my dad and my mom is a single, divorced mother of 4 with shitty credit?! I DON'T HAVE A CO-SIGNER. I don't know how in the hell I am going to be able to go back to school!
So tonight I was talking to my bf about how I don't know how I'm going to afford it, and what I should do and he said, "That's why you should have gone to college right out of high school." I did go right out of high school. I went for a year at a university for teaching. I HATED IT. I was 18, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and since I was supporting myself alone (moved out when I was 17) I had to get a job. And I've been working full time ever since. So then bf proceeds to say, "you should have just keep going with your teaching. You had one bad experience and you quit." THANKS FOR BEING SUPPORTIVE!
His parents paid for his college. And by the way, I don't think every 18 year old knows what they want to do with the rest of the life! I sure didn't! I didn't have the money to piss away on college when I didn't even know what I wanted! But in any case, it's not like I can change it now! If I could go back in time, I WOULD have stayed. I regret quitting EVERY.DAY.OF.MY.LIFE. I don't need him reminding me of it! I beat myself up over that decision over and over. I've got the guilt covered, buddy.
I needed him to be supportive of me, to help me figure out a solution. NOT tell me I made a mistake in the first place by quitting. I already know this! Now please man up and help me move FORWARD with my life, not backwards!
So I've mentioned before that I work in a cancer center. And every once in awhile there is a story that breaks your heart. Although this story is from Texas, it's about a little girl who only has weeks to live. Her dying wish? A wedding.
Read the story here.
Children do not deserve to have cancer ruin their lives like this...
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Today I got a package in the mail. Inside was a few pairs of work pants, jeans, and shorts. All being one size too small. Am I crazy? Maybe. But I prefer to think of it as being optimistic. I want to be one size smaller by summer. All my old shorts no longer fit me because they are too big. And I just went and bought a bunch of new ones. So I will MAKE my ass fit into them no.matter.what. Extra motivation never hurt, right? (I had a 30% off coupon I had to use anyway...)
And in other boring news, we are having a few people over this Saturday for a poker/card/game night. And I have no idea what to make. I was thinking little finger food? Or something easy like pizza? I know I am making brownies, since I hate to see the mix go to waste, and I can't have brownies hanging around while I'm trying to fit into the above mentioned pants...but I can't only feed my guests brownies! I've searched some online sites for ideas but so far, no dice. (And it's a plus if they are sort-of healthy!)
And my car is in the shop. It needs a steering gear or something crazy? Basically it wasn't steering right and I figured that was kind of an important thing to fix...and I am very lucky my extended warranty covered all but $300 of it because the bill is coming close to $1600---which is about $1100 more than I have!!
I'm off to watch the Biggest Loser...
(And the bf caught me blogging. He said he is going to try and find my blog now. Let's hope he has better things to do. I don't want him reading my every thought! Go away, Tom!)
Let me start by saying I've always loved Valentine's day. I've only had one "bad" Valentine's day since I started dating when I was 14. And it was the year when the love of my life, live-in boyfriend was cheating on me. But other than that, they have all been pretty good. I know a lot of people don't see the point in this "Hallmark" holiday, but I see it as romantic!Last Friday I got a dozen roses sent to me at work! I was pretty shocked because I was expecting some flowers at home bought from the grocery store. ;) So they put me in a good mood all day! Then on Saturday we slept in and lounged around the house until 3:30 when we went out to dinner at Red Lobster. The lobster we had was so freaking delicious! It was some of the best lobster I've ever had! (the bf thought the same thing!) Which was weird since it was Valentine's day and they were super busy and it was only red Lobster. But anyway, it was SOOOOO good and we both left stuffed! Then we spent the rest of the night in bed with wine and a GIANT chocolate covered strawberry! :) (Oh yeah, I got some pretty emerald and diamond earrings too!) But seriously, the best part of the day was just cuddling in bed and reconnecting with each other. It was sappy and magical. :) I <3 Valentine's day!
I've decided to give myself 8 weeks to lose this final 10 pounds. So I started the couch-to-5k program. (I skipped the first couple weeks because they were too easy since I'm already a regular exerciser.) So my goal is to be 10 pounds lighter and to be able to run for 30 mins without stopping in 8 weeks. I got up before work to get the run/walk in today. And it felt damn good to have my workout over before I even got to work! It's hard to get up early, but I think it will be worth it in the end! Bikini, here I come!
I'm feeling uninspired right now. I don't know what to write about. I've been tagged for this on Facebook, and I figured I could use it here. Maybe I will be inspired to write entire posts about some of these things...25 Random things about me...1. I should not be allowed to go to the animal shelter. I literally want to take them all home, and I would if I could!2. I want a dalmatian puppy super bad. Even though I know they are a tough breed to own. I still want one. And It will be the first thing I buy for our home. (when we buy one next year!)3. I have never done any illegal drugs.4. I hate paying full-price for ANYTHING.5. I've never met my dad. And I doubt I ever will.6. I was sexually abused as a young teen by my step-grandpa.7. If I could go back in time, I would. There are some things I would change. 8. I hate my job. I'm only there because I have bills to pay. It makes me very unhappy.9. I'm 23 and still have no idea who I "really am."10. I watch cheesy Lifetime movies on Sunday afternoons. (And I enjoy them!)11. I can't sing. At all.12. I hate running but I love how it makes me feel after I'm done.13. I think I have sexy legs.14. I love taking pictures...of everything!15. I've never been on a plane. Ever. 16. I have never broken a bone, or had stitches, or had a surgery.17. I want to have children, but I'm scared that I won't be a good mom.18. I love ice cream 19. I love my family more than they know...20. I like wine, but I never pay more than $10 a bottle. 21. I like spending time alone, and have to force myself to go out once in awhile. 22. I wish I could go back to school and study nutrition. 23. My boyfriend does more cleaning than I do most of the time. And I don't thank him enough. 24. My life is 1000000x better then it was 3 years ago. And I am very blessed.25. I am very scared of death. I can't imagine anyone in my family dying, it freaks me out too much. I can't handle death.
It's been 35 degrees here the past few days. That is a tropical heat wave for Minnesota! I took my very first trip to Whole Foods yesterday, and most people were wearing only a sweatshirt--no jackets needed here when the temp gets above freezing! We're all nuts. I'm trying to eat healthier, so I decided I should check out Whole Foods. I've heard many good things about this place. My conclusion? It's just alright. I found a couple cool things, which I couldn't get at a regular grocery store. But I won't be doing the bulk of my shopping there. I'll go to get a few key items and that's about it...To go along with my healthier lifestyle, I joined the 20SB Biggest Loser team! and I found out I am on the Green Team. I'm not sure exactly what the rules are, or what the challenges will be. But hopefully this is cool and at the very least helps give me some more motivation.Time to watch some Lifetime movies until the Superbowl starts. (You know you secretly watch these on Sunday afternoons too! Don't kid!)
