Monday, April 12, 2010

Sis-in-law has won

Sort of anyway. So I left off when I sent the convo between myself and sis-in-law to Tom's brother. Apparently he said that he "saw her point that it wasn't fair of him to go on a trip without her." AKA "I don't have the balls to stand up to her." And told Tom we really needed to switch our wedding to MN if we wanted them there. (By this point there was no way I wanted either of them there, but it's Tom's brother so I can't pull my Bridezilla card on that one without being a complete B*tch myself...)

So off I went, I spent literally all day contacting vendors trying to find a date that was still available in Minnesota-- THIS SUMMER! Trying to plan an entire wedding in 3 months was giving me major anxiety. And I was really disappointed in Tom. He told me he needed his brother at his wedding. Ok...but when he is flat-out refusing to come to the wedding we planned, why change everything just for him? I get that he's your brother but my gosh! Not everyone in my family can make it to Jamaica either! My grandma is on oxygen and can't fly. And she is really important to me. But I felt like Tom didn't really care about that and basically wanted me to bend over backwards for his brother and his witch of a wife. I was not a happy person...

I found a Friday in July that was available. So I told Tom that we need to go to Michaels and get planning this wedding ASAP if he was SURE that's what he wanted. He told me he HAS to have his brother there, so yes, we had to change the entire wedding. (Yes, we could have waited until Summer 2011, but neither of us wanted to wait that long.) I told him that his sis-in-law needed to apologize to me ASAP or she will not be invited to our wedding, wherever and whenever it happens. So she sent me a half ass apology over text message and off we went to look at invitations and place cards, etc. After we got home Tom told me that "Maybe he does want the Jamaica wedding after all." WHAT?! He called his mom and talked to her for a couple hours! When he came back inside he told me that this is "our day" and if we want Jamaica, then we should have Jamaica. It's sad his brother won't be there but we shouldn't have to change our entire wedding to make him happy. (Hello! I've been telling you that for how long?!) Tom apologized for putting me through this mess, and for not listening to how I felt. I was so emotionally drained and pissed by that point that I made him sleep on the couch and think about what he REALLY wanted and I wanted a final, FINAL answer in the morning. He said he wanted Jamaica.

That was a week ago. And of today, he still says he wants Jamaica. Brother or no brother.

My nerves are so frazzled. I don't know what to think of this situation. It has caused some MAJOR drama between Tom & I. I felt like he wasn't standing up for me and what WE want for OUR wedding. He felt like I wasn't compromising in order to allow his brother to be there. (But is "compromising" totally changing your wedding? Compromise, yes. Change our entire wedding, no.)

I'm not even thinking about my wedding right now. The weather is warmer and we've been doing a lot of yard work to keep us busy. I think I'm 90% sure we will still go ahead with Jamaica. But I won't feel 100% until we book the entire trip. (Which should be soon)

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sis-in-law part 2

Quick update on this...

Tom talked to his brother this morning and asked if he was coming to the wedding and told him what his wife said. His brother said he wasn't aware of the conversation between his wife and I. He also wasn't aware that he wasn't coming. (Doesn't this just prove how INSANE this woman is?) So he asked me to forward the saved convo to him. I told him I would HAPPILY forward it to him.(Thank goodness I saved it. I had a feeling I would need my PROOF!) Tom also told his brother that I wasn't comfortable with them staying with us this summer. And the only way I would change my mind is if she gave me a major apology and agreed to keep her nose out of our wedding plans. (I doubt she will) But he said that was fair.

I would love to be a fly on the wall in their house tonight...I wonder how he'll feel when he reads what his so-called "loving" wife wrote. Ha!