I weighed-in today, -0. I stayed the same as last week. And I'm 100% okay with that considering it's the day after Thanksgiving! Haha. We're heading home after I get off work tonight. I still have 2 more "thanksgivings" to have this weekend--wish me luck!I also ordered my xmas cards today (got a good deal on them too!! 75% off!) Here's the digital preview of them... I can't wait to get them! I think they are going to look AWESOME! :)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
2- My family (Even my one sister who shut us out of her life...)
3- I have a job. I may be miserable there, but it pays the bills and buys us food. We don't have to really struggle like some people are right now.
4- Buying our first house this summer!!!!!!!!
5- Our new puppies! I've wanted a puppy for a long time and now I have TWO!
6- My body. I'm finally learning to respect it and everything it can do for me!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
My weekend was fine. I found the BEST wine in the whole word--Rebel Red. It was SO good! I had a glass of it at a bowling alley of all places, and searched all over to find a bottle for myself and I CAN'T find it! I am super mad because it was the best glass of wine I've ever had and I can't find it now!! And I NEED it because I'm pretty depressed right now and some good wine would totally make me feel better. I guess I'll just have to go back to the bowling alley and buy some... :(
I'm bummed because I love holidays and I have to work the day after Thanksgiving and it's totally ruined my mood and I'm being a total GRINCH right now and I don't care.
I put up all my Christmas decorations yesterday, including the tree. I was hoping it would lift my spirits some...It didn't. I woke up this morning with a sore back from putting everything up and NONE-ZIP-ZERO Holiday spirit.
P.S.- It feels weird to have a Christmas tree in my house. How can it be that time of year already?!
P.S.S- It's even more weird that we have NO SNOW and it's 50 degrees in Minnesota right now?! I'm pretty sure October was much colder than November has been this year!
That's all I have for now... :(
Friday, November 20, 2009
My weigh-in wasn't as great as I wanted this morning. Oh well, a loss is a loss I guess...
Nov 6: -2
Nov 13: +1
Nov 20: -0.5
I have noticed my clothes fit better and my fitness has improved a ton since I got my treadmill a month ago. I've been working out about 4-5 days a week ever since and I can tell a difference! At any rate, I have no choice but to keep plugging along. (And I'm a little scared my weigh-in next week is the day after Thanksgiving! Yikes!)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Moving on... I read this quote today, "I’ve learned that most people won’t change until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing." Bingo. I have tried and failed at losing weight so many times. But finally, it clicked. And I knew I had to change. Because no matter what I had to do to lose the weight, it was worth it to no longer be the fat, depressed person I was.
But I also look at it from another angle...I am no longer "in pain" with who I am. I am a "normal" weight and my weight doesn't hold me back (as much) anymore. So, I'm having a hard time kicking myself in the ass because I don't have to lose weight. I want to. That's the difference now. (When I was 185+lbs I HAD to lose weight...I had no choice.)
Makes perfect sense! It doesn't mean it will get any easier to lose the last 10 pounds...but I still like that awesome quote!
Weigh-in day is tomorrow. I'm not sure what the scale will say, but since I've started jogging again, I am noticing a slight difference in my clothes fitting better, even if the scale hasn't caught up yet. We will see what happens tomorrow...
P.S. Emma did great at the vet! And she weighed in at a WHOPPING 1.7pounds! :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Emma has her first vet appt tonight. We'll see how she behaves...It shouldn't be anything major. Weigh her, take her temp, and give her some shots. I'm praying they don't find anything major wrong with her. *crosses fingers*
After the vet appt Tom wants to go to Old Chicago because they are having food and drink specials tonight since it's the kick-off of their winter beer tour. I don't know if we will have time, depending on how long the vet takes. So I'll have to find some way to stick to my calories so I can have a good weigh-in on Friday!
P.S. go to missymaintains.com for a yummy soup giveaway!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
They were still sitting on the counter when I let the dogs outside this morning...Grrr men and their damn selective hearing! He "says" he didn't hear me...whatever! All the good chili, wasted! (Tom insisted on bringing them to work today. There is cooked meat & cheese in there. It's been sitting out all night. I told him no-obviously- But he says it's "fine." When he comes home puking, I will laugh.)
P.S I think I decided what I will do for my giveaway. I will give the winner their choice of either A) Trader Joe's gift card or B) Starbucks gift card. I will also include a postcard or something from Minnesota. What do you think?!?
Monday, November 16, 2009
I keep track of my food intake every day on sparkpeople. I plan out my meals in advance. My TOTAL fat grams for the whole day today is 44 grams. That's only 10 more grams in my total day then in one Big Mac. (It said my range is 32-56 grams a day to be a "healthy" amount) Wow! That finally hit home and put it into perspective how bad fast food is for me! (Will I still eat it on occasion? OF COURSE! I could never cut it out totally) And I will say I didn't have to eat "rabbit" food to stick to my fat gram range, either!
(My real food journal from today)
regular coffee, 2 cups
pumpkin creamer, 2 TBSP
Kashi Granola bar
Snack: Sugar cookie
chicken tortilla soup
Snack: raisins & light string cheese
Chili, 2 cups w/
shredded cheddar cheese on top
My whole DAY of food:
44 grams of fat
ONE Big Mac sandwich & Medium fries:
53 grams of fat
Proof is in the numbers...
I am also hitting it hard this week. I will NOT go over 1500 calories and I will work out EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I want to lose as much weight as I can before Thanksgiving and damnit I need to host my giveaway ASAP! :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
It was buy one, get one free so I enjoyed myself a couple margaritas. Then we headed off to the grocery store. Usually the margaritas aren't that strong...but I guess these ones were! I had a pretty rocking buzz going on! (Don't worry, Tom was driving! :P)
And this is why you shouldn't go to the grocery store with a buzz...
1- I circled the egg nog sample area three times like a crazy lady so I could have 3 samples of egg nog!
2- I dug thru all the packages of paper towels trying to find the ones with the "cool" pattern. Then I cussed about the "shitty paper towels" when none of the patterns met my standards.
3- I have a lot of new lean cuisines flavors I never would have gotten normally because I tend to avoid some of their meats because they taste fake. But with a buzz? Rubber meat apparently looks delicious.
At least we had fun?! Haha!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Anyway, I am feeling much better than I was on Wednesday & Thursday. Yay! Plus it's Friday, so what's not to love?! After work tonight we are going to a 30th birthday party/housewarming for one of our friends. A ton of our friends all bought their first houses this year so it's exciting to finally check out their place! And P.S. I still find it weird that a few of my friends are already in their 30's...that just seemed so old?! I can't believe in 2 years I will be dating (married?) to a guy who is in his 30's! I guess what that really means is 1- 30 isn't as old as it seemed when I was 18 and 2- I must be getting older myself. I choose to forget the latter...
Moving on, today is the official weigh-in day. Thankfully, the scale was a little nicer to me today. Still a gain, but considering it's TOM, I'm not worried. I've been doing this long enough to know a 1lb gain this week of the month isn't anything I need to worry about.
Nov 6: -2
Nov 13: +1
Overall Total: -1
Remember, I need to lose 10 pounds to hit my goal weight and to host my giveaway. (9 more to go!) I have a feeling next week will show an awesome number. I can feel it! :)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Let me start by saying I hate being a woman sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love high heels, lipstick, and mascara. But periods, cramps, & bloating? I can live without those! My cycle is not regular at all. It never has been. I'm even on birth control (even tried different types!) and it STILL comes whenever it flipping wants. It's kind of annoying because I can never know when aunt Flow will come to town.
She came a week early, showing up yesterday. I had the worst cramps I've had in a LONG time. I haven't had cramps this bad since I was 14 or so? I was doubled over at my desk in pain. It hurt so much it took my breath away at times! I took 4 advil in order to dull the pain somewhat. It has also been about 5x heavier than normal. I feel like I'm back in 8th grade and I have to run to the bathroom every hour to keep things under control! This is NOT normal and I have no idea why it's so heavy and so painful! It was so bad this morning I thought I might have to go to the doctor because I was bleeding so much so fast! It's a little better now...but my gosh! I thought this is why I went on birth control (other than the obvious reason!) why does my body still think it can do whatever the hell it wants all the time?! It also worries me about my fertility. I know I've said I'm nervous it will be hard for me to get pregnant because when I'm not on birth control, I can go months without a period and then when I do get one, it will be hell like this month. And now I'm even on birth control and it's STILL irregular! I've tried different types and nothing totally works, the one I'm on now seems to be the best I've tried...
Anyway, I wish my bf would feel the cramps I was having yesterday. They just have no clue how bad they can get! :(
Also, I know I wasn't supposed to weigh-in until tomorrow, but I cheated and looked today. It showed I gained those 2 pounds back that I lost last week. I KNOW that's not "real." considering what my body is dealing with right now...but it still sucked to see that number back. I wasn't as strict with my calories this week as I could have been, but I still counted calories and worked out 4 days this week. There is no way the scale should have showed a 2lb gain! (other than stupid, flipping, Aunt F!) Sigh. I better have a great number next week!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Nicole left me this great award! Thanks!!! :)
10 Random things about me:
1- I love anything peppermint. Lotion, candy, candles, anything! It's my favorite smell in the world!
2- I don't do dishes. Period. This is the bf's job.
3- I love trying new recipes and "experiment" in the kitchen!
4- I order all sandwiches/salads with the sauce/dressing on the side.
5- I don't believe in soul mates
6- I am very stubborn
7- I am 24 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
8- I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom but I like having my own money. So I'm hoping to drop down to part time work when I have children.
9- My dogs are flipping spoiled. Sickly spoiled. I always HATED the girls who had their stupid little dogs and treated them like children. I am now one of these girls! Sigh...
10- Sometimes I think I spoil my animals because my hormones have kicked into high gear and I'm substituting them for the real babies I don't have yet. Ha!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Anyway, she is about 1.6lbs at 9 weeks old-- and such a little lover! You can tell she was spoiled already because she loves to be held! I'm in love! We think we will name her Emma. :)
Rex is excited to have another dog in the house, but he is too big/rough to play with her yet. He is such a small dog himself (7lbs) that he's never had another dog he had to be gentle with! He doesn't understand that he hurts her. He's also slightly jealous and never left my side all weekend. But all on all everyone is adjusting very well! She is starting to get braver and wants to roam around the house instead of just being held all day.
I feel slightly guilty that I think I will give Emma more attention than Rex. He is more of an active dog who loves to play, chew, and chase around. Emma (so far) loves nothing more than to be a total lap dog and cuddle with me. Who knows, she's still so young that once she's bigger and can keep up with Rex she might be a little wild thing too. Ha!
I can't wait to get home to this face...
Friday, November 6, 2009
My dog also loves other dogs. It's crazy. He can't get enough of them! Sometimes he gets himself in trouble when he's on walks because not every dog in the world is as friendly as he is... Haha. We have also been having some separation anxiety issues with him when we are at work. So.....
We decided to get another dog! (Only for Rex, of course!) :)
We have been looking all week. Going to the shelter, checking the paper, etc. Every time we saw a dog at the shelter we liked, they were gone before we got there. I also e-mailed about a rescue dog, and never heard anything back. Finally I found the perfect little girl puppy in the paper. I called this morning and she was still available! I said we would take her for sure. And we now have a meeting to get her tomorrow at 1pm! The only bad thing is, we have to drive 2 hours to pick her up... And I have to take Tom out to dinner tonight because of it. (I had to bribe him to drive, Haha.) But we will have the sweet little puppy tomorrow afternoon! (Again, she's to keep Rex company all day...Also maybe because I have always wanted a little girl yorkie-poodle!)
(She doesn't have a name yet...)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Then I don't know what happened. Ok, I do know. I ate. A LOT. I know there is a reason. I feel "off." I struggle with this. I don't know what is wrong or why I feel sad, but once again I used food to comfort me and make me feel better. And Halloween is my favorite "holiday" so I figured why the hell not, I might as well drink it up and enjoy myself. Did I stick to lower calorie drinks like rum & diet? Or white wine? Of course not! I had the sweet nectar of Malibu with pineapple juice! I haven't had one of those in seriously like 2 years! It was GOOD. :)
Oh, I also gained five freaking pounds in one week. FIVE. Do you know how long it took me to lose that 5 pounds?!?!
It's my fault. I'm not making excuses. But I wish I knew why I still feel the need to reach for food when the little black cloud gets over my head. I know better!
But I also know I have to move on and I have no choice but to keep plugging along. On Monday I started logging everything that went in my mouth. I'm staying between 1300-1400 calories and working out for 45mins each day. I used to weigh myself every day. Some people don't like weighing themselves every day, but it worked for me. I decided to try something different. I'm going to try and NOT weigh myself for as long as possible. I don't know how long I will make it...I'm hoping I can wait for at least 2 weeks...maybe 3? All I know is I don't want to step back on that scale until I fix the damage I did to myself last week.
I've been in the 140's for 6 months now. My goal is the mid 130's. Six months in the 140's is PATHETIC. For crying out loud I just need to suck it up and finish this part of my weight loss journey already! Part of it was I was busy buying the house. I also lost the gym at the apartment when we moved. The main reason why I've only lost 5 pounds the past 6 months (only to put it all back on in a week!) Is because I got lazy. I'm not overweight anymore. My BMI is normal. I started accepting my weight. I wasn't 50lbs overweight anymore, so why bother?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." Motivation is what got my started 40lbs ago. Habit is what kept me going. Then somewhere along the line, eating healthy every day wasn't a "habit" anymore. I gave in to pressure. Everyone would say. "You look so great! You don't need to lose anymore weight!" My bf would start bringing home baked goods and yummy wine because I wasn't "fat" anymore. These foods were banished when I was 185lbs and he understood why. Now? He doesn't think I need to be so strict... But obviously I do...
I'm officially "back on the wagon." I will get to my goal weight and I will zip up those goal jeans and have them fit with NO MORE muffin top.
And when I get there, I'll host a giveaway!!!
Any ideas on thing you guys would like to see in my giveaway? I would like it to be something fitness/health related. But I am also a normal woman and I think a good bottle of red wine and dark chocolate improves my health, so don't worry it won't be anything only rabbits or marathon runners can appreciate. I don't have a date for this giveaway yet, obviously the sooner I get to my goal weight, the sooner I will host it. And now I HAVE to stick with it and be done once and for all, of you will all be mad at me and not get free stuff! :)
Phew! That was long...sorry!
Monday, November 2, 2009
First of all, here is Rex, the cutest puppy shark EVER! :)
We went out to a local bar where a costume contest was going on.The "sausage chef" won 2nd place and I WON FIRST PLACE & $50! (I was going to be a pirate and changed my mind at the last minute because I was feeling too fat to wear the pirate costume! And who cares because the guys in the bar seemed to like the leopard!)
I will do a Halloween/weekend recap once I get home from work so I can show you lots of pictures...but I have to post that I won my first giveaway!!!!
Mom on the run hosted an awesome breast cancer awareness giveaway and I was lucky enough to win! Woohoo!!
here's the details...I won an Inspiring Hope gift basket that includes a sleeved travel mug, a running ribbon charm bracelet, a pink leather strap keychain, a pink cinch bag, and a set of inspirational note cards. All of the gift basket items are from ShopKomen.com where 25 percent of the merchandise purchase price benefits Susan G. Komen for the Cure® in the fight against breast cancer.