My bf's brother had a baby girl yesterday. The first grandchild of the family. Everyone always thought Tom & I would have the first/only grandkids in his family because his brother's wife always said she didn't want kids. And, oops, here's baby Katie instead! (I don't like the sister-in-law. Nobody does. When bf's brother called and said he had an "announcement", we were guessing he was divorcing her, or she accidentally got pregnant. Which jabs the knife in even further that she has a new little baby and I DON'T.) I've been jealous for awhile now. I want my own little baby. :( My bf's brother lives in Texas, so it's not like we will get to see baby Katie very much. She probably won't even be a baby by the time we meet her! I know bf's mom is really sad about being so far away. She wanted a little girl of her own and got three boys instead! So this granddaughter is really special to her. We got a few pictures of her today and she REALLY looks like daddy. And I spent a long time looking at her little face and wishing I could hold her and spoil her. ( And (secretly) wishing I could have my own little baby, too.)World, meet my pseudo "niece", Katie. 
So, I just got back from the dentist. That was interesting. I waited almost an hour before they could see me. Then the tech needed to take some x-rays, so she put little cardboard things in my mouth and told me to press down. Only the one on the left side was kinda crooked and it was so sharp and digging into my mouth! I told her it hurt and she said, "It's only for 2 seconds!. You're fine." Um, what?! (this was my first visit to this place! I'm not a huge baby, but I'm pretty sure if I tell you it really hurts you should listen to me and try to fix it?? Maybe?) Then the dentist came in and he was there for LITERALLY under a minute. He told me I have 2 cavities and I need to come back next week.Thanks, jackasses! I miss my old dentist from back home. He is AMAZING! I think I will start planning my dentist visits around my trips back home so I know I'm getting someone good instead of these ding bats!So what did I do when I got home? Grabbed a snack. FROSTED animal crackers! IN YOUR FACE, DENTIST! :) He would approve, right?
Last week sucked and it's not looking like it's getting any better...
First, I am broke because my car needed work a couple weeks ago and that was a few hundred...then my cat started throwing up and we had to take him to the vet. The x-ray alone was almost $400!! Then he needed medicine and we need to watch him the next couple days to make sure she can keep food down. There was something on the x-ray thatshowed something stuck in his colon. Hopefully he can pass it on his own. If not, it's a $2,000 price tag for surgery. (which, I don't have!!!) Oh, and he's not even 4 years old. It's not like he's 18 and it's just his time to go. He's still young!
Then at work we found out that we are not getting any raises this year. AWESOME. And they might need to "adjust" our benefits. Um, ok? You won't give us our raises and are more than likely going to INCREASE our cost for insurance? Great. And I work for a freaking hospital!
So since I hate my job, and have been wanting to go back to school for a loooooong time, I decided to take the plunge and get the ball rolling by filling out my FAFSA. Bad idea. It told me I am NOT able to get federal grants. Because my income is "too high." WHAT?! My net income in 2008 was 23k! And you're telling me that's too much?! Not to mention I would make even less if I were to go back to school because I couldn't keep working full time! And I barely have any credit history so I can't qualify for loans without a co-signer. Um, and did I mention I've never met my dad and my mom is a single, divorced mother of 4 with shitty credit?! I DON'T HAVE A CO-SIGNER. I don't know how in the hell I am going to be able to go back to school!
So tonight I was talking to my bf about how I don't know how I'm going to afford it, and what I should do and he said, "That's why you should have gone to college right out of high school." I did go right out of high school. I went for a year at a university for teaching. I HATED IT. I was 18, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and since I was supporting myself alone (moved out when I was 17) I had to get a job. And I've been working full time ever since. So then bf proceeds to say, "you should have just keep going with your teaching. You had one bad experience and you quit." THANKS FOR BEING SUPPORTIVE!
His parents paid for his college. And by the way, I don't think every 18 year old knows what they want to do with the rest of the life! I sure didn't! I didn't have the money to piss away on college when I didn't even know what I wanted! But in any case, it's not like I can change it now! If I could go back in time, I WOULD have stayed. I regret quitting EVERY.DAY.OF.MY.LIFE. I don't need him reminding me of it! I beat myself up over that decision over and over. I've got the guilt covered, buddy.
I needed him to be supportive of me, to help me figure out a solution. NOT tell me I made a mistake in the first place by quitting. I already know this! Now please man up and help me move FORWARD with my life, not backwards!
