Bad Week

Last week sucked and it's not looking like it's getting any better...

First, I am broke because my car needed work a couple weeks ago and that was a few hundred...then my cat started throwing up and we had to take him to the vet. The x-ray alone was almost $400!! Then he needed medicine and we need to watch him the next couple days to make sure she can keep food down. There was something on the x-ray thatshowed something stuck in his colon. Hopefully he can pass it on his own. If not, it's a $2,000 price tag for surgery. (which, I don't have!!!) Oh, and he's not even 4 years old. It's not like he's 18 and it's just his time to go. He's still young!

Then at work we found out that we are not getting any raises this year. AWESOME. And they might need to "adjust" our benefits. Um, ok? You won't give us our raises and are more than likely going to INCREASE our cost for insurance? Great. And I work for a freaking hospital!

So since I hate my job, and have been wanting to go back to school for a loooooong time, I decided to take the plunge and get the ball rolling by filling out my FAFSA. Bad idea. It told me I am NOT able to get federal grants. Because my income is "too high." WHAT?! My net income in 2008 was 23k! And you're telling me that's too much?! Not to mention I would make even less if I were to go back to school because I couldn't keep working full time! And I barely have any credit history so I can't qualify for loans without a co-signer. Um, and did I mention I've never met my dad and my mom is a single, divorced mother of 4 with shitty credit?! I DON'T HAVE A CO-SIGNER. I don't know how in the hell I am going to be able to go back to school!

So tonight I was talking to my bf about how I don't know how I'm going to afford it, and what I should do and he said, "That's why you should have gone to college right out of high school." I did go right out of high school. I went for a year at a university for teaching. I HATED IT. I was 18, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and since I was supporting myself alone (moved out when I was 17) I had to get a job. And I've been working full time ever since. So then bf proceeds to say, "you should have just keep going with your teaching. You had one bad experience and you quit." THANKS FOR BEING SUPPORTIVE!

His parents paid for his college. And by the way, I don't think every 18 year old knows what they want to do with the rest of the life! I sure didn't! I didn't have the money to piss away on college when I didn't even know what I wanted! But in any case, it's not like I can change it now! If I could go back in time, I WOULD have stayed. I regret quitting EVERY.DAY.OF.MY.LIFE. I don't need him reminding me of it! I beat myself up over that decision over and over. I've got the guilt covered, buddy.

I needed him to be supportive of me, to help me figure out a solution. NOT tell me I made a mistake in the first place by quitting. I already know this! Now please man up and help me move FORWARD with my life, not backwards!