Funk

I really hate this funk I've been in lately. I just have no energy for anything! I am tired 24/7. And I mean REALLY tired. I was shopping with Tom last weekend and I was just too tired to continue--what?! I had myself convinced I was pregnant (since I've heard extreme fatigue is an early sign. ) But I'm not. I have no idea what my deal is. I have to force myself to keep up on the housework & my workouts. Sometimes nothing works and I go to bed the minute I get home and just lay there and watch tv all night. I had some blood work drawn at my physical in Jan and everything was normal. Plus I take a prenatal vitamin every night and it has extra iron. I'm out of ideas. But I want to feel more like myself soon! I'm really hoping some sun & warm weather will help make me feel better. We're STILL getting snow. :( I just want some sun! (Oh, I take a vitD supplement too since we have no sun here it seems...)

Anyway, I guess there is no point to this post. Other than I have ideas for what to write but I'm too lazy to actually write them! Sigh...

Monday Random

It SNOWED here this weekend. And we are supposed to get up to 6 inches tonight. WTF Mother Nature. Not cool! I really need warmer weather. Tom and I are really considering a move to someplace warmer in a few years. I hate that we only have three warm months a year. It's so depressing!

We have been working on the house recently. We're hoping to get the kitchen done soon. We also put up a new garage door and we need to put up four new doors on the house too. The entire house needs to be painted, the screen porch needs all new screen and we need to gut and remodel the entire bathroom. And all of this needs to be done this summer. I'm going to be busy. Yikes!

Tom starts his new job today! I really hope he likes it! He works so hard and I want him to get the pay & respect he deserves. (Plus we need the extra income from this job in order for me to stay at home when we have a baby.) I think I was more nervous for him than he was this morning! I can't wait to hear how his first day went!

A decision was made...

We made a baby decision this weekend. I feel really calm now. I think before I felt anxious because of the "unknown." Well Tom and I were talking on Friday night. I told him that I really want to go off the pill when my next pack runs out. I told him I want to see of my body goes back to "normal" and if I have regular cycles. I said that means the birth control would be up to him at that point.

Instead he said we should just go for it and "whatever happens, happens." So I guess around Memorial Weekend we will be sort of TTC! Nobody in real life knows, and I want to keep it a secret. I don't want people asking me if I'm pregnant yet 24/7 in case it takes awhile.

This is happening sooner than we thought it would. But I feel excited and ready. We'll take it day-by-day and hopefully my body doesn't take too long to get back on a regular cycle.

New job = baby?

My husband has been looking for a new job ever since we came back from Jamaica. He got really serious about it after his job wanted to send him to California for 4+ months. Last week he got an offer & accepted. It is a little more pay, but has a lot of room to grow. (Plus it's a local company, there shouldn't be any extended trips to other states.) Our plan is to keep building up our savings, finish the kitchen remodel, and gut the entire bathroom as well. And we plan to have all of this finished by September. We're nuts.

We also plan on (maybe) trying for a baby this summer. We wanted Tom to get a new job first (and finish the kitchen/bathroom) before we started trying. Now that he has this new job it's becoming more real....

...Except somedays I DON'T want a baby right now. I think of all the things we can do in the next couple years that we couldn't do if we had a baby. We're not rich, but we're comfortable. That will all change with a baby. I like sleeping in and going to the store without 72 diapers and a diaper bag the size of a suitcase. Our life is pretty stress-free right now, and I like that.

And of course on the flip side every time I see a newborn my body physically aches and I want a baby RIGHT NOW. I want to throw caution to the wind and just go for it. I tell myself there will never be a perfect time for a baby. Tom will make an amazing dad and I can't wait to be a little family.

My emotions are driving me crazy! I'm currently in the "I want a baby" camp. But just last week I wanted to wait another couple years! I keep flip flopping what I want. I think the main thing is the unknown. I don't know how easy it will be to get pregnant, or if I will have a complicated pregnancy. What if a baby is really hard on our marriage and we end up resenting each other. What if I'm not cut out to be a mom, etc. None of my close friends had a planned pregnancy. They didn't have to deal with this struggle because the decision making was out of their hands. In some ways I wish we would have a surprise pregnancy so I know it's "meant to be" and it will stop my internal tug-of-war. Sigh.

One Love--TTD

Warning: This is a picture heavy post.

The day after the wedding we got up and met our photographer at 8am. The beach was empty because it was so early, thankfully. I knew I wanted a TTD (trash-the-dress) session ever since we picked a destination wedding. I am SO glad we did one! It was a lot of fun and we got some great pictures! And it didn't ruin my dress at all. I rinsed it off and it looked cleaner that it did before I went in the ocean! ;) I suggest everyone does a TTD or something similar.

(First 2 pictures are from the actual wedding day, then the rest are from the TTD)