4 years ago

4 years ago I was at rock bottom. The man I was desperately in love with (and living with!) told me he was still in love with his ex girlfriend. (It is also when I gained the weight I have been working so hard at getting rid of.) He was seeing her behind my back while I was at work. He didn't have the balls to actually end things with me because he claimed he was confused and wasn't sure which woman he wanted. On Valentines day I asked if we could sit down and have dinner together and talk about everything that was going on. He agreed. I came home from work with a present for him and he informed me he was going to his ex's house to watch the Olympics with them instead. That was the final straw for me (why it took me that long, I don't know. This had been going on for about 4 weeks by that point.) I remember watching the Olympics on tv, alone, on Valentines day and picturing him at her house snuggled up to her. I don't remember much else except crying so much I couldn't catch my breath. It was the worst day of my entire life so far. It is now 4 years later and the winter Olympics are coming on again. I can't watch them. Even the previews make me sick to my stomach.

However, I can't believe the changes from 4 years ago to now. It's incredible. I'm so thankful! I just wish I could go back in time and tell myself, "Hey! Cheer up! 4 years from now you will own your own home and be engaged to a man who actually values you!" Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much then. And maybe I would actually be able to watch the Olympics... It's days like this that remind me, "Everything happens for a reason." :)

I'm very lucky.