Divorce

First of all, Kelso is getting better. Looks like it was some sort of nasty kitty cold? Anyway, all is well. :)

Yesterday one of my friends (J) e-mailed me that she was having problems with her husband and she was considering divorce as one of her many options. She hasn't slept with him in 3 months, she is bitter and is starting to resent him. But she is (obviously) scared to end the marriage. It's a huge deal! She doesn't want to lose his family, she has two young kids, and they planned to have a third child eventually.

They are barely scraping by financially. She has a decent job, but he doesn't make that much working at a gas station, she it's not like she would get very much child support either. If she can't even make it now on two salaries, how is she going to make it on hers alone?

Obviously, if she is that unhappy, she should leave him. But she felt this way over two years ago as well. I remember her telling me the same story...until he decided they could try for another child. Then all was well while they tried to get pregnant and for a while after the baby was born. Now she feels the same way again---except she said she is thinking about staying until they have one more kid. WHAT?!

I'm trying to be supportive of her, but that is crazy! Another one of her ideas was to have an open marriage...I don't see that going well either. I told her she needs to have a honest conversation with him this weekend and tell him how unhappy she is.

(I know divorce is common...but I'm not even 24 yet (I have until Monday!!) and this is the second friend of mine to think about divorce. The other couple IS getting divorced. She's moving out in May. It's all kind of scary. )

Granted, J and her husband got engaged/married early on in their relationship. She feels like they got swept up and didn't really get to know each other. She also admitted she felt she would never do any better, so she married him. My bf (Tom) and I have been together almost 3 years, and have lived together for 2. We aren't even engaged yet, but I know it's coming soon. But I don't think that makes us safe either. Divorce can happen to anyone. :( And I don't know what to do NOW so that I don't end up divorced down the road. I know you can't plan for those type of things...but I wish there was a way to really KNOW I was making the right decisions in life...

Sick Cat!

My poor Kelso is sick! Yes, I am one of those girls who really, REALLY loves her cat(s)!

For the past couple days his nose has been BRIGHT red and almost raw? Like he keeps licking it until he makes it so raw. And he doesn't have a good appetite...and just lays in the same spot all day long. :( He's only 4 and I'm not ready to part with him yet so it better not be anything serious! We will find out tomorrow at the vet I guess...
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I started Weight Watchers on Monday. I know it's only been 2 days, but it's been going really well. I know this is going to work. I can just tell. I lost 33 pounds on my own, and it was time for some help. Hello, bikini body!

Katie!

Here is the newest picture of Baby Katie! She is about 6 weeks old and looks more and more like daddy every day! I wish we lived closer so we could visit her. My bf is so excited to be an uncle, but living in Minnesota it's pretty hard to see baby Katie in TEXAS! :( But "Katie" gets on MSN messenger and waves "hi" to Uncle Tommy & Auntie Danielle. I guess that's that best we've got for now.

Spring Has Sprung!

It's supposed to get close to EIGHTY degrees here on Thursday. This is amazing! Although I'll be at work all day...and by the weekend it will be rainy and cold again. Boo!

I did the Biggest Loser Yoga DVD last night. It wasn't very hard---but I am actually sore today! Guess I was working some more muscles than I thought!

And in big news, my bf and I are going to start house hunting! Our realtor is going to e-mail us some listings tonight. I'm nervous, but also excited. Buying a house means we are closer to a wedding and babies! :) Oh, and a puppy. Haha. Our budget it pretty low, being first time buyers. But I think we will be able to find something out there right now and put a little sweat into it to make it wonderful!

I'm getting close to my weight loss goal. I have around 8 more pounds to go. And I will be at my goal by summer, and I will wear my first bikini this summer!

I also have something going on every weekend until June. I am most excited for my 24th birthday weekend next weekend! My bf is taking me to a winery tour and then out to dinner. It should be fun. And I plan on getting quite the buzz from the good ol' wine offered. :)

Oh, baby!

My bf's brother had a baby girl yesterday. The first grandchild of the family. Everyone always thought Tom & I would have the first/only grandkids in his family because his brother's wife always said she didn't want kids. And, oops, here's baby Katie instead! (I don't like the sister-in-law. Nobody does. When bf's brother called and said he had an "announcement", we were guessing he was divorcing her, or she accidentally got pregnant. Which jabs the knife in even further that she has a new little baby and I DON'T.)

I've been jealous for awhile now. I want my own little baby. :( My bf's brother lives in Texas, so it's not like we will get to see baby Katie very much. She probably won't even be a baby by the time we meet her! I know bf's mom is really sad about being so far away. She wanted a little girl of her own and got three boys instead! So this granddaughter is really special to her.

We got a few pictures of her today and she REALLY looks like daddy. And I spent a long time looking at her little face and wishing I could hold her and spoil her. ( And (secretly) wishing I could have my own little baby, too.)


World, meet my pseudo "niece", Katie.

Dentist approved...

So, I just got back from the dentist. That was interesting. I waited almost an hour before they could see me. Then the tech needed to take some x-rays, so she put little cardboard things in my mouth and told me to press down. Only the one on the left side was kinda crooked and it was so sharp and digging into my mouth! I told her it hurt and she said, "It's only for 2 seconds!. You're fine." Um, what?! (this was my first visit to this place! I'm not a huge baby, but I'm pretty sure if I tell you it really hurts you should listen to me and try to fix it?? Maybe?) Then the dentist came in and he was there for LITERALLY under a minute. He told me I have 2 cavities and I need to come back next week.

Thanks, jackasses! I miss my old dentist from back home. He is AMAZING! I think I will start planning my dentist visits around my trips back home so I know I'm getting someone good instead of these ding bats!

So what did I do when I got home? Grabbed a snack. FROSTED animal crackers! IN YOUR FACE, DENTIST! :) He would approve, right?

Bad Week

Last week sucked and it's not looking like it's getting any better...

First, I am broke because my car needed work a couple weeks ago and that was a few hundred...then my cat started throwing up and we had to take him to the vet. The x-ray alone was almost $400!! Then he needed medicine and we need to watch him the next couple days to make sure she can keep food down. There was something on the x-ray thatshowed something stuck in his colon. Hopefully he can pass it on his own. If not, it's a $2,000 price tag for surgery. (which, I don't have!!!) Oh, and he's not even 4 years old. It's not like he's 18 and it's just his time to go. He's still young!

Then at work we found out that we are not getting any raises this year. AWESOME. And they might need to "adjust" our benefits. Um, ok? You won't give us our raises and are more than likely going to INCREASE our cost for insurance? Great. And I work for a freaking hospital!

So since I hate my job, and have been wanting to go back to school for a loooooong time, I decided to take the plunge and get the ball rolling by filling out my FAFSA. Bad idea. It told me I am NOT able to get federal grants. Because my income is "too high." WHAT?! My net income in 2008 was 23k! And you're telling me that's too much?! Not to mention I would make even less if I were to go back to school because I couldn't keep working full time! And I barely have any credit history so I can't qualify for loans without a co-signer. Um, and did I mention I've never met my dad and my mom is a single, divorced mother of 4 with shitty credit?! I DON'T HAVE A CO-SIGNER. I don't know how in the hell I am going to be able to go back to school!

So tonight I was talking to my bf about how I don't know how I'm going to afford it, and what I should do and he said, "That's why you should have gone to college right out of high school." I did go right out of high school. I went for a year at a university for teaching. I HATED IT. I was 18, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and since I was supporting myself alone (moved out when I was 17) I had to get a job. And I've been working full time ever since. So then bf proceeds to say, "you should have just keep going with your teaching. You had one bad experience and you quit." THANKS FOR BEING SUPPORTIVE!

His parents paid for his college. And by the way, I don't think every 18 year old knows what they want to do with the rest of the life! I sure didn't! I didn't have the money to piss away on college when I didn't even know what I wanted! But in any case, it's not like I can change it now! If I could go back in time, I WOULD have stayed. I regret quitting EVERY.DAY.OF.MY.LIFE. I don't need him reminding me of it! I beat myself up over that decision over and over. I've got the guilt covered, buddy.

I needed him to be supportive of me, to help me figure out a solution. NOT tell me I made a mistake in the first place by quitting. I already know this! Now please man up and help me move FORWARD with my life, not backwards!