I've had a few meltdowns over my wedding so far. (Mainly over the whole drama with Sis-in-law and how much of a b*tch she is.) But I had another one today.
My brother has a long history of depression/ suicide attempts. He has also been acting like a giant ass hole to everyone in my family lately. No one can stand him! He's a totally different person. He's been such an ass hole to me that I told him I would only pay for his flight if he apologized to me, His response? "Go f*ck yourself. I'm not going to your wedding. "
Then that night he cut himself and landed in the hospital --AGAIN. He has been putting my family through this song and dance over and over and over! He needs help but he REFUSES therapy and medication. There is nothing we can do to help him. My poor mom lives in fear about when the next phone call will come. Because it ALWAYS does. So we have to go through that again...
I'm done with him. I can't stand him. He refuses to get help, shits all over everyone and basically treats everyone like dirt. And telling me to go f*ck myself? I'm over him. I don't care if he is family. Unless he apologizes to me, I want nothing to do with him. He's ruining everyone else's lives too, not just his own. My mom can't even sleep without medication because she is so worried she will get a call about my brother. She lets him walk all over her. He's pathetic.
He was supposed to walk me down the aisle. Looks like I'll just have to go alone.
So on top of dealing with this drama--AGAIN-- My travel agent told me today that Delta cancelled our flights for the wedding. This was all it took for me to LOSE IT. I was trying not to start crying my eyes out at work. I e-mailed Tom about it and told him that I'm done with this wedding and I want to cancel it.
I'm half way serious. My engagement has NOT been happy. And it really doesn't seem worth it anymore. I can't handle all this stress and every thing going wrong. I still have 3 more months to go. Who knows how many more times my flight will get cancelled, or what else will go wrong!
Oh! I forgot! My wedding coordinator told me on Friday that we can't have a private dinner reception at the resort because it's NYE and it's not possible. So they expect me to walk around the buffet in my wedding dress on my WEDDING DAY?! Hell No. I WILL be a bridezilla.
Everything is falling apart and I don't know if I can keep it together.