I've never been a fan of Tom's dad. I try and try and try, but I just can't really like the man! The biggest problem is obviously his drinking. He is a raging alcoholic. He had 3 DUI's within one and a half years! He drinks every.single.day. And not only does he drink every day, he gets wasted every day. There has been more holidays than I can even count where he went to the bar at 10am and came home drunk before we even had Christmas (or whatever holiday) dinner!
Obviously to Tom, drinking every day is "normal" to him. He comes home from work and has a few beers. That even seems like a lot to me! But he knows I worry about his drinking, and probably even more so because I know what his dad is like and I know alcoholism can be hereditary.
Also, his dad is such a sexist pig! When Tom & I first started dating he told me that I need to go back to college and "make something" of myself because my job wasn't good enough. He said he didn't want Tom having to support me because I can only make $7 an hour. First of all, let's start by saying that no, I don't have a college degree. However, I was working at a big hospital at the time, as a medical secretary making a lot more than $7 an hour! And second, how is it any of his business anyway?! He said that he doesn't want Tom with someone who's going to get knocked up and quit working and just "watch soaps & eat Bonn-bonn's all day." I guess I'm sorry to say it's now 3 years later, I'm STILL working FULL-TIME, making even more than I was before, and I'm not knocked up. Sorry, Papa Tom.
Last night pushed me over my limit with this man. He was drunk (obviously) and joined my conversation I was having with Tom's brother. He didn't know what the hell he was talking about and starting ranting about how I don't like this one friend of Tom's, and he doesn't like me. I told him that out of all Tom's friends there IS bound to be one I don't like and vice-versa. It's only normal. I can't please everyone! And he told me that maybe if I just "learn to shut up and keep my trap shut, as well as all other women, the world would be a better place."
I was stunned! It felt like he slapped me in the face! I got up and stormed to the house. He said, "Yup, walk away...just like a woman!" I told him (ok, screamed back at him) that I'm not going to sit there and listen to his bullshit any longer and I slammed the door and went to bed.
And then Tom-WHO WASN'T EVEN THERE WHEN HIS DAD SAID ALL THIS- Came in and told me to "cut him a break, he's drunk and doesn't know what he's saying." Excuse me while I step all over that lame-ass excuse! I'm sorry, but I'm sick of people cutting him a break just because he's old, drunk, papa. NO! So I told Tom that his dad can go to hell. The most mature thing to say? No...I admit that. But I was so pissed! And then Tom told me that he will "never forgive me for this" and slept on the floor all night.
We still haven't said one word to each other. Thankfully, his dad left early this morning.
I don't know what to do anymore! I can't stand his dad, I don't even want to be around him! But Tom loves him, he's his dad. His dad was the one who got custody in the divorce and raised all three boys. It's not like he's a stupid friend I can avoid and ignore forever... I also can't stand Tom making excuses for his dad! And not even asking me what really happened either! He just jumped down my throat. I'm sorry, but if we are supposed to become a FAMILY ourselves, then you need to step it up and defend ME. Support ME.
This could seriously be a make-it or break-it issue...